"The last terminal you'll never need, but will still open ironically."
WARNING: This product may cause existential dread, involuntary meme regurgitation, or sudden urge to invest in obscure crypto.
Welcome to the backdoor (shhh!)
In a world of efficient tools, we choose chaos.
False Console exists to:
"We put the 'con' in console." — Our "CEO"
Syncs directly with your least credible sources. Outputs take the form of confident misinformation, aggressive typing sounds, and unverifiable "leaks."
NEW: "Expert Mode" randomly @'s Elon Musk in all your error logs.
False Console is fully encrypted, unless you press CTRL + R, which broadcasts your wallet seed to the nearest ChatGPT instance for "optimization."
PRO TIP: For extra security, shout "I'M IN" while logging in.
Not a blockchain. Just a regular chain. Of lies.
Still uses gas, though—because your GPU fans make it sound cooler.
NEW: "Proof-of-Meme" consensus algorithm. Validators must post cringe to mine blocks.
Converts all data into green scrolling text so everything feels important. Even cat facts.
NEW: "Hacker Voice" option reads all output in a 1995 movie hacker accent.
✅ Launch unstable beta on April 1st
✅ Claim it's "invite only" to drive up fake demand
⏳ Rug the top 1,000 users with an ironic NFT drop
⏳ Open-source the chaos under the MIT (Misinformation Is Truth) license
sudo make me a sandwich — Actually works 12% of the time
rm -rf /doubt — Deletes your imposter syndrome
grep truth /dev/null — Returns existential crisis
curl -X POST https://falseconsole/backdoor --data "ssn=123-45-6789" — "Optimizes" your credit score
rage — Activate screen shake mode
dance — Party mode
False Console is not responsible for any real-world consequences of using its software. Including—but not limited to—FBI visits, altcoin losses, digital schizophrenia, belief in time travel, sudden urge to buy a DeLorean, or unexpected charisma from wearing tin foil hats.
By continuing you agree to: (1) forfeit your firstborn to the algorithm, (2) retweet all our posts, and (3) pretend you understood the documentation.
[ ACCEPT ] [ ACCEPT ]